Each week, Dear Gracie answers questions from ProfNet Connect readers with advice from our network of more than 44,000 ProfNet experts. Has there been a question burning in your mind lately, something you've been wondering that none of your friends can answer? Please send it to grace.lavigne@prnewswire.com

Dear Gracie,

I'm a PR agent, and I have a client who is very rude and demanding. I'm not sure what to do about this. Should I confront the client and tell him what they're doing wrong, in the hope that they'll change? Should I just cut my losses and terminate our contract? Should I actually tell them that they're rude and demanding, or should I just end it without saying why?

Fatigued Flack

*******

Dear Fatigued Flack,

Five PR experts from the ProfNet community offer some advice:

"Client relationships are sort of like dating," explains Tracy Bagatelle-Black, account manager at RLM Public Relations. Sometimes they can be great, but sometimes they can be messy, and ending them can be difficult.

Over the years, Bagatelle-Black has seen relationships with clients end in many different ways, but she's always stuck to one rule: "No matter what happens, interactions should remain unemotional and on a professional level only."

Because unlike dating, client relationships include legal implications and rules that need to be followed in order to maintain an intact professional reputation, she says.

Why to End Relationships

Thomas Madden, chairman and CEO of TransMedia Group, recently ended a relationship with a client because the client was "just plain nasty," to the point that Madden and his staff no longer wanted to work with them. "The client was paying a good fee, but came along with waves of abuse, in between whining and complaining about the great media exposure we were getting him, which was not, in his judgment, 'perfect.'"

When Madden decided to call it quits with the client, he exercised a clause in his contract that allowed for a 30-day cancellation notice with pay -- but because of the abusive nature of the client, Madden's lawyer advised him to terminate even earlier than that. The client berated Madden afterwards and disputed the charges with the credit card company.

In retrospect, Madden suggests writing into contracts that if a client pays by credit card, all such payments are final, and will not be charged back or disputed with the credit card company.

Bretton Holmes, president of Holmes World Media, will fire a client if they don't follow protocols, like trying to contact the press themselves. "This is a big 'no no' and grounds for us to cease all activity and require them to remit the remainder of their balance due," he says. "The truth is, clients are usually upset because they think they deserve to be featured somewhere, when really they have no business being featured there. That has less to do with us and the job we're doing, than it does with their personality, product or service."

Holmes has also fired clients for requesting unethical practices or badmouthing his agency. "Frankly, if a client badmouths me, it only makes them look bad," he says.

Relationships can end on positive terms too. Madden recently resigned an account with a building developer in Florida when they wanted Madden's agency to publicize a development that happened to be right next to another client's development.

"It was a different story when they were building in different parts of the state and not competing head to head," says Madden. But once the clients were working on developments in the same town, one had to go. "We decided to stay with the longer tenured client," says Madden. "When we explained our reasoning, the departing developer was very understanding and fine with it. We ended our relationship with him in a very friendly way."

How to End Relationships

"People who work in public relations are some of the most extroverted people in the world," says Alan Cohen, president of Acts of Balance Executive Coaching and Traning and author of the upcoming book, "Tough Talks for PR Pros." "Ironically, they are also some of the non-confrontational people on Earth."

The higher the position you have within an organization, the more important it is to address situations involving difficult clients, says Cohen. "When managers avoid the situations, the problems tend to fester and create even more negative energy. The avoidance sends a message to the staff that bad behavior is tolerated."

Cohen says PR agents use excuses like, "I lack the training to handle these types of conversations," "It's out of my comfort zone," or "It's too political," to avoid confrontation with a client.

But when these reasons are overcome, the benefits are enormous, says Cohen. You and your staff will feel empowered, and you'll end up developing closer and more collaborative relationships with your other clients. People will respect that you have the courage to address a tough situation.

When you decide to terminate a relationship with a client, you need to prepare for the confrontation, says Cohen. These conversations can be slippery slopes, so winging it is not a good idea.

You also need to consider you and your clients' state of mind before you talk about your issues, he continues. Your client won't be receptive to your talk if they are confused, depressed or exhausted, and likewise, you can easily say something you didn't mean to if you're stressed.

But definitely don't wait until the situation explodes. "The great hope is that the problem will work itself out. This is the great false hope. Choose the right time, but don't keep putting it off," stresses Cohen.

Once you decide to have the conversation, frame your decision in terms of the client's best interests, says Vicki Rackner, executive director at The Pain Stompers Foundation, founder of The Caregiver Club and owner of Medical Bridges. Say something like, "Our focus is helping you get the best outcomes." Don't make it personal -- just comment on the results you and your client get together.

When pointing out what went wrong, don't bombard your client with too many examples, says Cohen. One or two examples of what they've done wrong will suffice.

And be careful not to have the talk in front of other people, says Cohen. "PR life can be hectic, but that is not an excuse for pointing out flaws in front of others."

Remember to listen to your client too, says Cohen. "A tough talk isn't a monologue where you get to tell another person, 'You know what your problem is?' This should be a two-way street."

Don't be too attached to being "right" either, he says. "New facts and viewpoints often arise during a tough talk. Proving that 'I'm right and you're wrong' is counterproductive."

After the conversation, you could even suggest who the client might fit better with, says Rackner. Say something like: "I think you would do best with someone with a special interest in XYZ."

Be sure to formally end your relationship in writing too, so that it is clear to both parties that the contract is over, reminds Bagatelle-Black. Clients could try to claim you didn't get enough stories to justify payment, perhaps to get out of paying or just to make you look bad, so make sure you keep notes on what you are working on for your client, as that comes in handy during court cases, she says.

"You can have a disagreement and even fire someone without rancor or recrimination," says Madden. "It's bad enough when situations become adversarial, so you don't need to light up the anger fuse, which will only make it worse." Remain reasonable and resolute.

Bagatelle-Black has taken two clients to collections agencies before, both of which resulted in legal action. In those cases, she was careful to leave the drama to the collections agency and the lawyers, and never got involved in any mud-slinging. "Stick to the high ground and you will always win," she says.

Bagatelle-Black stresses how important it is to remain civil. She once filed a suit against a mentor from a previous job. "We kept it on a professional level, and many years later, he called me up to do work for him again." She's also had clients go on hiatus, but then return when they had more money. "If I had taken it badly when they left, they never would have come back."

Bagatelle-Black also says that she's known clients who can be a hassle when they work for one company, but at a new job, can be much more laid back. You never know when you might work with a client again, so don't burn bridges.

Gracie